Soooooo, it’s 2am and I just dreamt I was on a reality show with my parents. (Wait. It gets better.)
I was in India, it was morning and my Mom sent me to the river to get water, because she tells me, if there’s any sitting water in the house the Mosquitos will lay eggs in it. (Pretty sure this happens in Minnesota, not India)
On my way to the river, I have this brilliant idea that there should be some kind program that buys lids for all the buckets in India. I am making plans for this as I am dipping my bucket into the river filled with sacred cows and 1,298 children. (I seemed pretty calm about all the people and animal feces that is surely floating in the water. Hmmm)
So, I’m returning with my water and decide to carry it back to our house on my head. Why? Because it is the local custom in India? Nope. Because it frees up my hands to check in to “India” on Facebook. OF COURSE.
This is where the dream turns into a nightmare, because as I’m checking in, someone STEALS MY IPHONE.
At this point there is no way it can get much scarier, but then this man comes clawing his way down the dirt road…. He is on his knees and looks delirious and I immediately realize he is an actor from my favorite soap opera (Nick! From The Young and the Restless!!!) and that he has dengue fever. (I didn’t know I knew how to SPELL dengue fever, let alone what it is). I ended up smashing him on the head with the bucket full of feces water (but mosquito larvae free!!) to escape.
Then I scramble, panting, up the stairs of the Southern plantation looking house we are staying in (like THAT fits j to the landscape in India?), to find my Mom calmly pulling curlers from her hair and drinking an ice tea. (My Mom has NEVER WORE curlers and hasn’t drank ice tea since I was in GRADE SCHOOL.)
Know what was the best part of the dream? Or it could be the worst part, I’m not sure? Right before I woke up, I found out that was just the TITLE SEQUENCE for my reality show!
Wow. Just wow.