Smart Mouth

Have you ever had one if THOSE days?

One of the days where you get a car wash and then a bird poops on your windshield 2 minutes later and not just any old place on your windshield, but right.in.front.of.your.face.

Or when you get a spray tan and then an hour later forget that you got a spray tan and decide to vacuum your car out (like a boss) and get all sweaty and make your tan all splotchy.

Or one of those days when you think the highlight of your day will be when your dryer finally gets fixed after being broke for over a week. But then, the dryer guys walks in the room and says, “Uhmmm…. I have some bad news.” Then he explains that while he FIXED the broken heating element, he wired the dryer up wrong and blew up A DIFFERENT PART and it will be ANOTHER WEEK before the new part comes in.

Awesome.

One of those days where you go to order your daughter’s cheer uniform and you get snubbed by all the cheer moms again. Chubby, skinny, cute and not so cute… none of the cheer moms want to be your friend. You are not invited to their club. You realize that you’re going to be sitting all alone again this year and be the last one to know about anything cheer related.

Sweet.

Well, that was yesterday…. hypothetically and all. That might not have actually happened to me. It did. Because I wouldn’t want to speak truthfully negatively about stupid birds, douche-bag hard-working dryer repairmen or the bitchy cheer moms.

I’d NEVER do that. That’s totally what I just did.