|bleh||Jan 29, ’07 11:06 PM
for Mel ‘s friends and Mel ‘s family
That is how I feel.
I got lost on the way there. I got lost on the way home. During the infusion I rubbed my eye and my contact ripped in two and so I drove 90 miles home with one eye.
The drug is a drug used for people with reoccurring cancers or late stage cancer. It beats the shit out of you.
BB is interviewing a lady from FL tonight, he took her to dinner. So I had to take CL to gymnastics and pick up CJ from karate. I cried the whole way home. Quietly, hoping the kids wouldn’t hear me. But I think they did, because as soon as we walked in the door Cody took over and started putting CL to bed.
I feel alternately ravenous and nauseous. Cold then sweaty. EVERY joint feels like someone is jabbing and turning a hot poker in it. My head is pounding from clenching my teeth.
I. HATE. THIS. EFFING. DISEASE.
I feel so resentful that I have to be beat down like this in the hopes of a little relief.
It is times like this that I just don’t know how I will keep doing this for the next 40-60 years.
It just sucks.