bleh

bleh Jan 29, ’07 11:06 PM
for Mel ‘s friends and Mel ‘s family

That is how I feel.

Bleh.

I got lost on the way there. I got lost on the way home. During the infusion I rubbed my eye and my contact ripped in two and so I drove 90 miles home with one eye.

The drug is a drug used for people with reoccurring cancers or late stage cancer. It beats the shit out of you.

BB is interviewing a lady from FL tonight, he took her to dinner. So I had to take CL to gymnastics and pick up CJ from karate. I cried the whole way home. Quietly, hoping the kids wouldn’t hear me. But I think they did, because as soon as we walked in the door Cody took over and started putting CL to bed.

I feel alternately ravenous and nauseous. Cold then sweaty. EVERY joint feels like someone is jabbing and turning a hot poker in it. My head is pounding from clenching my teeth.

I. HATE. THIS. EFFING. DISEASE.

I feel so resentful that I have to be beat down like this in the hopes of a little relief.

It is times like this that I just don’t know how I will keep doing this for the next 40-60 years.

It just sucks.

The End.

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