My alarm goes off at 5:45 but I have already been awake for an hour. On this morning it was tiny kitten feet sprinting across my boobs that woke me, but most nights it’s the sound of my 15 year old Siamese cat Mia dry heaving somewhere in the house. Like a petulant toddler with … More A day in the life….
So, you slowly march towards your destiny, which you ASSUME is going to be a pile of partially digested grass and cat chow. But, it’s not. Oh Internets, IT’S NOT…. … More What the F*ck Chuck?
It was a beautiful Sunday morning, the sun was shining and the birds were singing. The windows were open and a gentle breeze was tickling the edges of the curtains. I sunk into the well worn cushions of my couch and took a deep inhale of my cup of rich coffee sweetened with pumpkin spice … More Easy like Sunday morning…
So, it has been two weeks since I have moved out on my own into a house with the kids. A lot can happen in two weeks. Basically I have become a plumber, someone is trying to kill me and if I did not have Google I would not survive in this cruel, cruel world. … More Broken Brakes and other Bullshit
You know what would be the best alarm clock noise? A cat vomiting. Nothing makes me stand upright faster than the sound of a cat dry heaving. You have to move fast, because the offender is ALWAYS barfing on something difficult to clean. If the entire room is hardwood and there’s only one little tiny … More Cat Barf Alarm Clock
5am – Check to see if my Mom is laying on her back, if she is – stand on her boobs. This is like trying to balance on a beach ball! Fun! It wakes her up FAST!! 5:45am – achievement unlocked, my mother is awake. 5:50am – Try to do figure 8’s thru her legs … More Timeline of Bus Stop’s Day
WTF Lady? I got a manicure around 5pm yesterday. The cute little Asian Lady that sits in the desk next to my nail lady was staring at me at me for an uncomfortably long time. She finally said, you look so pretty! I said , oh! thank you! And THEN she said, And it’s so … More Thursday Thoughts
Smart Mouth 