Smart Mouth

WTF Lady?

I got a manicure around 5pm yesterday. The cute little Asian Lady that sits in the desk next to my nail lady was staring at me at me for an uncomfortably long time.
She finally said, you look so pretty!
I said , oh! thank you!
And THEN she said, And it’s so late in the day and you’re STILL so pretty!
Wait.
Wtf does THAT mean? At a certain hour do I expire and turn ugly?

Wall-mounted toilet wipe dispenser

Why aren’t toilet wipes equipped with a wall mount? You could wake the dead trying to get one of those suckers out of the plastic tub it’s confined in. And forget about using them at a friend’s house, you might as well just scream, I AM ABOUT TO WIPE MY DIRTY ASS WITH A FEW OF YOUR PRICEY BABY WIPES!!

Cat Teepees

In the future every cat will have a teepee. Get onboard. Sandy (my mother) can whip one out in 45 mins. We are going to need more people for the sweatshop. Accepting applications now.

Birchbox

If you don’t have this, you need it. Every month a customized box of beauty goods arrives in your mailbox, (unless your mail carrier is holding it hostage.) for only $10 a month!
This month I got a full size mascara, a travel size lotion and dry shampoo, a face treatment for large pores (thanks for the large pores Sandy) and three tea samples! Boom!
There’s no joke in this paragraph, I just think you need Birchbox. http://www.birchbox.com

Chi -town!
Marie and I are going on our first business trip! We will be in Chicago the first few days of February! So excited to shop for the store and for girl time with Marie! And eat a Chicago style hot dog! Or is it pizza? Wait. Is that New York? Anyway…. there will be wine and shopping and more wine and eating and more shopping and WINE!

I’m an aunt again! My baby sister Kristen had an adorable perfect baby girl on January 3rd. Her name is Ellery Marin and I am IN.LOVE.