My alarm goes off at 5:45 but I have already been awake for an hour. On this morning it was tiny kitten feet sprinting across my boobs that woke me, but most nights it’s the sound of my 15 year old Siamese cat Mia dry heaving somewhere in the house. Like a petulant toddler with … More A day in the life….
So, you slowly march towards your destiny, which you ASSUME is going to be a pile of partially digested grass and cat chow. But, it’s not. Oh Internets, IT’S NOT…. … More What the F*ck Chuck?
It was a beautiful Sunday morning, the sun was shining and the birds were singing. The windows were open and a gentle breeze was tickling the edges of the curtains. I sunk into the well worn cushions of my couch and took a deep inhale of my cup of rich coffee sweetened with pumpkin spice … More Easy like Sunday morning…
You know what would be the best alarm clock noise? A cat vomiting. Nothing makes me stand upright faster than the sound of a cat dry heaving. You have to move fast, because the offender is ALWAYS barfing on something difficult to clean. If the entire room is hardwood and there’s only one little tiny … More Cat Barf Alarm Clock
5am – Check to see if my Mom is laying on her back, if she is – stand on her boobs. This is like trying to balance on a beach ball! Fun! It wakes her up FAST!! 5:45am – achievement unlocked, my mother is awake. 5:50am – Try to do figure 8’s thru her legs … More Timeline of Bus Stop’s Day
1. He has a toy mouse he drowns in the water bowl every day. Sometimes 5 times a day. No matter where I put it, he drowns it again. If I take it away, he will drag his next favorite toy to the water, which is a 4 foot long feathery cat toy. I stopped … More 10 Bus Stop Facts
WTF Lady? I got a manicure around 5pm yesterday. The cute little Asian Lady that sits in the desk next to my nail lady was staring at me at me for an uncomfortably long time. She finally said, you look so pretty! I said , oh! thank you! And THEN she said, And it’s so … More Thursday Thoughts
Why is there ear wax and why does it hurt so much to get it out if your ear? Inevitably you poke too deep and get that feeling like someone just lobed a javelin into your eardrum. Also, other people can see into your ears, but you can’t. Not fair. Why not make the NOSTRIL … More Ranting in run-on sentences.
…. and I am addicted to a de-shedding brush. Backstory: We had a de-shedding brush a few years ago, but I got banned from using it after an episode wherein I drank a lot and then decided to de-shed our Siamese cat. Problem was, I only combed directly down the center of her back. I … More Hi, my name is Mel…
There has been a lot of murders occurring in my house lately. At first I thought…. well, maybe it was just their time, maybe they were just old or sick? But, after the third murder, I couldn’t explain it away anymore. Also, there was the state of the bodies. Almost always the head was completely … More When the lights go out…