Smart Mouth

5am – Check to see if my Mom is laying on her back, if she is – stand on her boobs. This is like trying to balance on a beach ball! Fun! It wakes her up FAST!!

5:45am – achievement unlocked, my mother is awake.

5:50am – Try to do figure 8’s thru her legs as she walks down the steps.

6am – go outside with the dogs. Not sure why we do this as there is a poop box INSIDE the house.

6:15am – jump at drawstrings on my mother’s pants until she realizes I’m hungry.

6:16am- achievement unlocked, breakfast time!

7am – start holding my mother down on the couch. Make adorable kitten faces so she feels too guilty to get up.

9am – making beds!! I am under the sheets! I am ghost kitty! BOO!

9:15 – judge my mother while she showers and gets dressed.

10am – laundry! How darest you attempt to pilfer items from my basket fortress!

10:30 – outside with dogs!

10:45 – contemplate if I am a dog.

11am – torment siblings.

Noon – time for Gouda!

12:30 – Climb in the plants like I’m in The Jungle Book, Mom loves this! She always comes running!

12:46 – outside with dogs! Seriously, what are we doing out here?

1pm – finally! My Mom operates the noisy swirly water bowl!

2pm – complete total house search for items suitable for water bowl.

2:03 – achievement unlocked! Flotsam and jetsam floating in bowl.

2:42pm – my minion arrives home!!

3:15pm – show minion she is winning because her items are in my water bowl.

4pm – watch Dr Phil.

5pm – dinner time! Run backwards into wall because I must maintain eye contact with my mother who is holding my ground up horse meat deliciousness.

6pm – We play swimming in shark infested waters, where I ATTACK EVERYTHING THAT CROSSES MY PATH.

7pm – out with the dogs! This is getting ridiculous.

8pm – retire to my Mom’s bed where all heating blanket space is MINE.

9pm – asleep.

Midnight to 5am – collect various cat toys and stuffed animals and place them on top of my Mom and my minion whilst they sleep!

5am – Time to stand on the boobs again!!