Smart Mouth

For the THIRD time this year, my mail carrier has left a warning letter in my mail box stating that if I don’t remove the snow from in front of my mailbox they won’t be able to deliver my mail. Today she went the extra mile and included the hand written message, “MAIL WILL STOP!!!”

Now, I’ve been a mail carrier. I worked at a post office in Eau Claire, WI for two years. In those entire two years I think I left a notice ONCE and it was for a duder that repeatedly didn’t even attempt to shovel his sidewalk. BECAUSE I WAS WALKING.

But even when I did drive a mail route, I didn’t leave warning letters. I got stuck on two separate and I STILL didn’t leave a notice for those people. Because last time I checked? We were in WISCONSIN. (Or Minnesota, same diff.). I hate to point out the obvious, but IT SNOWS HERE.

So, tonight I wrote HER a little letter and stuck it in the mailbox.

Dear Mail Carrier,
I received your warning letter(s).
I’m a disabled veteran and there’s no better way to thank me for my service to our country than by threatening to stop delivering my mail and essential medications because the wind was blowing in the 4 hours since I last shoveled out the mailboxes. Which, by the way, was twice yesterday.
I have also been a mail carrier, and if the snow that was left by my mailbox was enough to hinder your driving ability, you should probably consider a different profession.
The next time you’d like to leave me a letter, just have your supervisor call me instead.

– Mel

I hope she writes back!