Smart Mouth

Camp

So, guess who didn’t shower the entire time she was at camp?

Yah. My kid.

I took 15 pics of her and they all looked like that or like this.

She wasn’t proud of not showering. Obvi. It was how she coped with the camp bathroom anxiety. I can deal with it. Next time I’ll send wet wipes and teach her how I took baths in the Army! HA!

Yes! I said next time! She said she wants to go back next year! Her favorite part of camp was the water trampoline and the giant swing (which is kind of like bungee jumping.) She never had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, the strange staring fuzzy red headed girl really was odd and she loved her counselors. She learned how to tie dye and how to make a dream catcher and she even ate a REAL chicken patty! (Not an expensive fake chicken patty from Target! woot!). One camper in her cabin almost got kicked out of camp for attitude, and it wasn’t Carsten! I think we can all agree camp was a success!

Speaking of success, guess who has a working dryer?? This girl!!!

Dryer

James returned to conquer the dryer, Chad-less this time. I opened the door and he said, “I know you’re not happy to see me…” *sadface* “….but I’m going to get your dryer fixed this time! I promise!” And he said it in a AwwwwShucksGollyGeeWillikers kind of way that made me feel like, THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A GIANT ASSHOLE WHO HAS 2 DRYERS BUT STILL BITCHES WHEN ONE IS BROKEN!.

But, then that moment passed and I spent the next ten minutes staring at him aggressively while he fixed the dryer. Now it works! Yay!

If anyone needs a dryer repairman referral in the Minneapolis area….

……don’t ask me, I don’t know anyone.

BONUS THOUGHT

Then! In unrelated horrible news my ceiling got a large brown spot on it, so Billy cut a hole in the ceiling to investigate.
It went like this:
– Cut hole.
– Stick hand in hole.
– Yup. It’s wet.
– Realize toilet is directly above wet spot.
– Check toilet.
– Find out the seal is bad.
– Realize you didn’t need to cut hole in the ceiling.

Then the bathroom looked like this for awhile.

So, that was fun.

Diet

It’s been almost a week. The first few days were like the second level of hell. I feel queasy, dizzy and had a headache. Every cell In my body craved high fructose corn syrup. Yesterday and today I’ve felt a bit better. The food is pretty good. I like the breakfast and the snacks, a few if them even taste like cookies!! The lunches aren’t too bad if I mix in enough spices and veggies.

I’m experimenting with new veggies, tomorrow I am going to attempt to make kale chips and broil some kohlrabi.

I guess you can also eat kohlrabi raw? Basically, some scientist made a turnip, a broccoli stem and an apple have a threesome… and then Kohlrabi was born. I’m skeptical. I’ll report back.

I still miss wine, pretzel rolls, Gouda, donuts and diet coke. A lot. I’d punch my Mom for a blueberry muffin right now. (Just kidding Mom! Love you!)

I haven’t murdered anyone yet, so there’s that. We’ll see what happens.