Smart Mouth

Where have I been the last few days?  Itching my way to insanity, that is where.

Saturday- I woke up with an itchy arm, BB did too, but mine just kept getting worse while his kept getting better. 

Sunday- I realized it was Poison Ivy or Poison Oak because it had moved from the rash stage to the blister stage.  Meanwhile, BB’s was almost not visible to the naked eye.  I spend hours on the internet doing “research” and then spend the rest of the afternoon putting my arm under scalding water, because the internet said it would relieve the itching.  Stupid internet.  Yeah, the itching did stop, but that’s probably because the first degree burn I gave myself took over.  Note to readers:  Don’t EVER use hot water on your poison ivy.  Don’t do internet research either unless you are better at it than me.  We go to Wal-Mart in search of OTC relief.  People stare at me like I have the plague.

Monday- Sitting at the doctor’s office all morning, I come away a hundred dollars poorer with a diagnosis of (big surprise) poison ivy/oak, a scolding from the doctor for doing internet “research” and using hot water, and a prescription for a tube of cream.  I fill the prescription at Walgreens.  People are looking at me like I have the plague and two heads.

Tuesday- Walgreens again, this time for a soak for the tub and different cream.  By now I can’t resist the urge to not scratch, even in public, which earns me a whole new crowd of ooglers who are now looking at me like I have the plague, two heads and I smell.  I am using our ice pack on my arm to relieve the itch, which is kind of working but I am using the one we have so much that it can’t stay cold.  I have resorted to using ziplocs with ice in them, unfortunetely ziplocs have a bad habit of peeing all over the couch, bed, etc… so BB stops at Walgreens on his way home from work to buy another ice pack.  By the way, BB now has to search for a few minutes before he can even find where his rash was, because it is all but disappeared.  Why does God hate me?

Wednesday- Nothing is working.  The only time I am not plotting of a way to end the itching is when I am asleep, which you might have guessed it I am not doing much of since I am waking myself up scratching every hour or so.  I have decided not to got out in public until either the rash is gone or it is cold enough to wear long sleeves or I can’t be responsible for what I will do to the people who are staring at me like I have the plague, two heads, smell, and they just heard I was married to my brother.

So.  Until the rash/blisters run their course there is not much I can do but sit here and be miserable.  I have decided to turn to the best painkillers of all, chocolate and alcohol.  I’ll let you know how it works out.