Smart Mouth

It has been a rough couple of days for Stacey.  Chemo started back up last weekend, and she developed a fever shortly after.  They thought there was an infection in the port so they took it out and put in a PICC line in her arm… but that didn’t make the fever go away.  At times it was 103.5 and she was freezing cold and shivering; they made her sleep without blankets and ice packs under her arms, she said it was like torture.  One of the only things she has talked highly about is the fact that they let her have heating pads and warm blankets whenever she wants… so for her to be that cold and miserable.  Well, gah.  It had to be hell.  They finally got the fever to break on Sunday, but the drs still think she has some infections and they are trying to figure out what is happening.

So, even though the fever was gone and chemo was over on Monday… she is still feeling awful.  Her stomach has been so upset, and she has had no appetite whatsoever.  Having problems like that is normal at this stage of the game, chemo kills the good bacteria in your stomach and bowels, so that is why people get so sick.  But, knowing that doesn’t make it easier.  They have decided that they will put her on liquid nourishment tomorrow.

They thought her pain had diminished, so they took the morphine pump out when they took the port out, but it turns out the pain wasn’t gone.  They gave her a fentanyl narcotic pain patch, but it hasn’t been working that great and now they are giving her shots of morphine too.  They can’t put the pump back in right now because she doesn’t have access, because the port is gone.

And she also started having severe leg pain this week… so bad that she cannot walk or stand now without assistance.  They have given her sleep meds, but she is having trouble sleeping because of the pain too.  They think the leg cramps could be caused by the chemo, but they are doing further tests to determine the cause.

In all my 20 years of knowing Stacey, I have never heard her cry like that.  I was so distraught… I forgot to ask important questions like what her counts were like.  I will try to remember to ask her when I call her back tonight to give her my flight info.  K is back at work, and I am going to go spend a few days at the hospital with her.

She asked me to put a line at the bottom of this update and say, “This whole thing sucks.”  Those of you that know Stacey or have been following her updates know how she has been through this whole ordeal… so positive that no one else could imagine how she did it.  I am so frickin pissed at the leukemia right now, I can hardly see straight…. I want it to leave her alone.  To at least cut her a frickin’ break.  Gah.  I should stop updating now, before I use more real swear words.

Oh, and another thing… if you are not a close friend or family member (meaning you did not speak to her on a regular basis in the years before you found out she leukemia) do not call her now, when she is feeling like this.  I don’t want to name names (I am not talking about any of her blog/internet friends – but someone that I have known since high school) but if you continue to do it, I will name you.  And I don’t think you want cyberspace to hate you.

If anyone would like, you can send her a card… she LOVES cards and letters, so send all the cards and letters you like.  If you don’t have her address, e mail me and I will give it to you.

To everyone else that has been praying, sending her things, and wishing and hoping..… please continue.  Maybe even turn it up a notch.

Mel