Smart Mouth

Dear AirTran,

I hate you.  I know hate is a strong word, but I truly mean it.  I don’t really care if you want to know WHY I hate you, I am about to tell you ANYWAY.

The source of my hatred is your gate agent, working today (June 9th) at the H.H. Humphrey terminal of the Minneapolis airport.  I should have taken note of her name, but I was too busy staring at her drawn on square-ish eyebrows and fighting an internal battle in my mind.  We (my mind and I) were deciding whether or not to tell your gate agent that she needed to go get laid.

I arrived at the airport check-in counter an hour and a half early, to find out that my flight was cancelled.  I tried to get on the next flight, but SEL (square eyebrows lady) told me that the flight was full and she could only put me on stand-by for the two remaining flights of the day.  I asked SEL to put us on a different flight on a different airline, and she basically told me to piss off.

So, I called Orbitz, and the Orbitx lady sounded like she wanted to tell SEL to get laid too! AirTran never notified Orbitz of the cancellation and the flight still looked on time in their system.  OL (orbitz lady) told me to go ask SEL why they cancelled the flight.

So, I did.  SEL then claimed she never told me it was cancelled, (errrrrrr, yes. she. did.) SEL claimed she told me there was a schedule change.   (errrrr, no. she. didn’t.)  But, fine – whatevs you Covergirl nightmare. 

Then SEL refused to talk to OL and refused to give OL a number to reach her at.  SEL told us to call 1-800-Airtran, which I believe is ticket agent code for “go f*ck yourself”.

SO……. OL tells me to stop talking to SEL, and we will just rebook my flight.  So, we do that.  And AMAZINGLY there were three seats, together even, on the flight that SEL told me was full.  What a co-ink-eedink!!! 

Right about then, SEL walks up to where I am sitting and chirps, “There has been a change in the 4 o’clock flight and now you are on it!!” 

“OH REALLY?!?!?!” I shrieked back, “There WAS a change!  No thanks to YOU!!!”

Then we went and checked in…. (this would be when the internal battle happened)  I managed to NOT swear at her, or tell her to get laid, OR tell her that she had a HUGE eyebrow hot mess on her face. 

I am so proud of me.

So, now my chilluns and I are sitting in the frickin airport for HOURS trying not to die of boredom or strangle each other.  You don’t have to worry about me going back downstairs to tell SEL to get laid… I won’t do eet. 

I also won’t EVER EVER, NEVER ever ever, be flying AirTran EVER EVER EVER again.  So there.

Screw you,

Mel