Lawsy

Oh Lawsy…. Sep 7, ’08 2:35 PM
for you

(thanks michelle ((mlk)) for the new southern-ish version of ‘oh low’)

The stress here?  It is overwhelming me.

I haven’t really been around much lately… even when I try, it is hard to get around to comment to everyone.  I have kinda lost my ability to think of funny things to say, I guess my heart just isn’t in it.  I really apologize for not being there for all of you.  Just know that I am trying the best I can right now.

So, anyhoodle…. here is what has been going on here.  Making me experience some of the worst stress ever, and giving me the most awful migraine I have ever had in my life.

Starr is sick.  She has a tumor on her leg.  We took her to the vet last week, and they first did an x-ray of the tumor and then took a biopsy of it..  The tumor is large, and hard, and the x-ray showed it was growing into the bone of her back leg.  The best case scenario is a soft tissue tumor, the worst case scenario is a joint sarcoma that is fast growing and aggressive, and common for large breed elderly dogs.  Even if it is a soft tissue tumor, the chances of them being able to successfully remove it are slim, because of it’s location.  Leg tumors are often treated with amputation, which is impossible to do for a rear leg on a dog of her size.

They sent the fluid from the biopsy off to a pathology lab, and we will get the results sometime at the beginning of the week.

It is no secret that I am extremely attached to my pets, but especially to her.  Anyone that has met her, understands why.  She is a gentle giant, so sweet and so loyal…. and I just feel so devastated already.  I am terrified of what the results of the test will be.

Secondly, I think everyone aready knows how miserable I have felt lately.  I hate to bring it up again, because I feel like I am whining.  But, every day is a little worse, and I just have not been this bad in a really long time.  I really hate every minute of it.  I hope I will feel better after my appointment tomorrow.

Also, I have had some personal stuff going on, with someone that I have been really close to, for a very long time.  That situation, in itself, has been very difficult to deal with.  I get emotionally overwhelmed every time I think about it. 

There is one situation where things are a bit better, and that is with Cody and school.  He had a little bit better day on Friday, and seemed more positive about everything.  I still think it is going to tak him longer than it has before when we have moved, and each time I drop him off at school I feel sad for him and guilty for putting him in this situation.  But I am feeling more hopeful that in a few more days/weeks, that maybe he will able to get back to feeling comfortable in school again.  Thanks to everyone that has called, or left comments or pms… asking about him.  It means a lot to me.

All of you are important to me… and I hope you can be patient with me, until I get back to feeling like myself again.

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