Smart Mouth

Today was my first full day at the zoo, in my new volunteer position.  After 40 hours of training it was a lot of build up…. to say I was nervous was a little bit of an understatement.  No matter how much I read, there is just no way this brain can memorize 400 pages of zoo manual.  I was also nervous to meet my new co-workers and day captain (supervisor).

Well, by the end of the day, I had a new nickname for my new supervisor…. Inappropriate Grandma.  After this week I plan to come prepared, with pen and paper, to copy down all of her inappropriateness.  This week all I had was my cell phone and she got a little po’ed when she caught me with it once.

So, anyhoodle…. here are a few I remember….

~ Ohhhh!  Look at the lemurs!  They are licking their nether-regions!

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~ (little kid telling us his life story….)

Me – Isn’t it cute when kids think that you want to know EVERYTHING that happened to them ALL day long?

Inappropriate G-ma – Yah.  They never know when to shut up.

Then the Dad stared at us like this….  O _ o

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 (me digging through my pockets)

IG – You should REALLY think about getting one of these!  (slaps her fanny pack)

Me – Ummmm….. I don’t…….errrrrrr…… think so.

IG – WHY?  Because you don’t have a FAAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEY?!?

(everyone within 50 ft STARED at my fanny, thanks EVER so much Inappropriate Grandma!)

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And my PERSONAL favorite!

(she dropped something out of HER fanny pack)

Me – You dropped your cold medicine.

IG – Actually that is my Correctol. 

(That’s right Internets.  Correctol. Laxative.)

Weeeee!  Good times at the zoo.