Dryer hell.

1. Heating Element on dryer breaks. Melisa calls repairman.
2. Repairman James orders part and says he will be back in a week.
3. A week later James returns and replaces heating element.
4. James puts the dryer back together wrong and dryer blows up.
5. James apologizes. James says he’ll order the parts and be back in a week.
6. James is a liar.
7. Melisa carries 75 loads of laundry from the second floor to the basement, where thanktheBabyJesus there is another dryer.
7. Two weeks and seventeen phone calls later Melisa finds out the parts are on national back order.
8. A week later James returns with the parts and his supervisor Chad. (Presumably to ensure James’ safety)
9. Chad and James tinker with the dryer.
10. Chad has bad news.
11. James ordered the wrong part.
12. Chad says he has good news! They will not be charging Melisa to order the correct part and have it shipped overnight!
13. Melisa’s head spins in circles.
14. Melisa loudly tells CHAD that he is not doing MELISA any favors by not charging her, since the reason we are all HERE is because JAMES.FUCKED.UP.
15. Chad backs up slowly.
16. James puts dryer back together and comes downstairs, looking like wounded baby otter. A wounded baby otter that is also crying.
17. James whimpers, I’m sorry Melisa.
18. Chad and James leave.
19. Melisa opens a large bottle of wine.
20. Melisa feels like an asshole for making James cry.
21. Melisa’s dryer is still broke.

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