Smart Mouth

Hello everybody.

I have been neglecting the blog and I feel bad about that.   So, here you go, my update…

Things have been pretty normal around here.  We have had some really nice weather in Kansas, so we have been spending a lot of time outside.  BB has been busy with Gordy’s fence, the land is cleared and last weekend BB put in all of the corner posts.  We still have the put the fence up, and lay the foundation for barn, and get the barn.  So, there is a lot left to do.  The weather has taken a turn today, and it is supposed to get even cooler by this weekend.  So, work may be on hold for a while.

The kids are doing well.  Cody is busy with school and boy scouts.  He is getting really excited for his trip this summer, especially since the fundraising checks have started showing up in the mailbox.  People have been really generous.  Not that surprising I know, since we only sent the sponsorship requests to people that are our friends and family, but it is a nice feeling to realize that all these people believe in your child as much as you do.

Carsten starts her cheerleading clinic tonight.  She is so excited, and has been “practicing” for over a week now.  She has made up a few cheers of her own, which include random letters that don’t spell anything, with a big “GOOOOO Cody” at the end.  She also has one where she says, “we can do it yes we can” at the end and finishes with a big split on the floor.  It is really cute, but also quite frightening for a Mom that was never a cheerleader.  I want her to be who she is going to be though, so I better get used to it.  She sure keeps me laughing….. her teacher wrote me a note yesterday that said that on the bus Carsten told her that she has carrots growing in her ears and that her socks are too small because she is allergic to them and they make her sneeze.  Cody junior, huh?

I have been busy, just doing the same old, same old.  I am watching my friend Shannon’s baby on Monday and Tuesday.  Her name is Brookelyn, and she is absolutely adorable.  I love watching her, and she is a pretty happy baby, so it isn’t very hard.  She is only about nine weeks old, but has already started to smile at me when I talk to her.  It doesn’t hurt that she has these big blue eyes that love to stare at me either, she even really enjoys it when I sing to her!  Which my own children have grown out of, Carsten says “oh no not again” when I start singing, or covers her ears and tells me I am making her nervous.  It is really nice to have Brooke around, and also nice that she goes home at night, and that it is only two days a week.  I miss her a lot when she isn’t here, but I don’t miss getting up at night, and all the hard baby stuff…  I always say I won’t ever find a job I am good at, that I love, that I can consistently do.  But, I am a good Mom, so watching Brookelyn is probably about as close as I will get to a rewarding job.

I went to Topeka last week, to see my friend Kristi.  She is moving back to Kansas and I went up for the day to see her and to help her house hunt.  I don’t know how much help I was, but it was so great to be able to see her.  She moved from Kansas to Ohio about two years ago, and I thought I was pretty lost when she moved away. I did eventually pull myself out of the pit of depression and accepted that we would have to be long distance best friends and would probably never live near each other again.  So, when she called before Christmas and told me she was moving back to Kansas, well to say I was excited would be a gross understatement!  A day with Kristi is like recharging my batteries.

This Thursday we are going to a Nickelback concert with some friends.  I love Nickelback, and I haven’t been to many concerts, so I am pretty excited.  It is kind of like an early birthday present to myself.

What else?  As for the RA, I suppose I should write a little about that, since that is what this blog is supposed to be about.  The past week or two have been tough.  I have been having quite a bit of swelling and pain, even with the pain pills, and that freaks me out.  I have had more nights than I care to, where I had trouble sleeping and woke up in incredible pain.  I can attribute some of the bad days to overexertion, but not all.  The days that baby Brooke’s here all we do is sit on the couch and cuddle, very restful and relaxing days, and the next morning I can barely move. That troubles me.  It makes me wonder, if I feel like this and I am resting, what would it be like if I tried to be active today?

I have also had a couple instances when I missed a pain pill and didn’t realize it until my head started pounding, the back/neck ache came back, and I realized I was biting people’s head off.  So, that kind of comforts and confuses me.  It comforts me because I am glad that I know now that consistently taking the pain pills takes away those pains/symptoms, but I still feel confused and wish there was more clarification about what these symptoms were.  I am worried about the pain pills not working as well after a while, since that seems to be the pattern with me.  I hate feeling that way.  It is awful, even the slightest sound feels like a woodpecker tapping on metal inside my brain, and it makes me really tired.

I am also a little bit disappointed that I am not seeing dramatic changes.  I guess I expected to feel incredible by now, to maybe feel like a normal person.  I do have days were I feel better, but I still have a lot of bad days.  I wonder if this is as good as it gets?  I suppose no one can tell me that, and I just have to be thankful for the good days when they come.

Well, I should try to eat some lunch while baby Brooke is sleeping and before Carsten gets home.