Smart Mouth

 So, after a bunch of unscheduled maintenance, we started out for our trip late Saturday afternoon. When we bought the camper, we spent the whole first weekend just cleaning it out. There seemed to be stuff stuck to almost every flat surface in that thing, some purposely and some not. One of these things was a piece of duct tape on the fridge. Now, if I was not such a frenzied-in-the-zone cleaner, it might have occurred to me to ponder what that duct tape was for. But, not me! I just ripped it off!

I discovered what it was for when we rounded the first corner and the fridge flew open, smashing a dozen eggs and leaving several cans of pop and beer spewing liquid in the air like mini geysers. What a way to start the trip!

So, the first stop was the gas station, where Norman’s (the camper) thirst was quenched and new eggs were bought. Then we were off. The fridge flew open approximately 79 more times before we reached the camp ground, in case you don’t know, NONE of those times were fun. I suppose you were wondering why I didn’t just stand there holding it shut? Ummmm, that would be because STANDING in a moving RV is very VERY difficult.

So, anyway. We arrived. The campsite was really nice, very clean and right on the water. They even raked all the sand so it had nice little lines in it! No footprints either! I stood there forever deciding how they did that, and finally settled on a rake operator with long arms and a long rake. Then I did the important things first, like put the tablecloth on the picnic table so no one touched the table germs, and put out the plastic tray for shoes, because there are no shoes allowed in MY rv!

 

 

Then I cooked the hot dogs for dinner while everyone else fished. A short while later we discovered a leak in the kitchen sink. So, no washing dishes. That was OK, I wasn’t freaking YET, but then a short while after THAT there was ANOTHER leak, this time in the bathroom. By the time it was discovered the carpet was pretty wet, so if you forgot to take your socks off they got soaked and there is nothing worse than wet socks. Oh wait, I take that back. The only thing worse than wet socks is not being able to pee in your camper, your camper that has a freaking bathroom. But at least the scenery was still nice!

 

Then, later that night the air conditioner condensation started leaking in through a tiny crack. Good times! So, it had to be shut off. At least it was still pretty… oh wait, it was very dark out so now I couldn’t even mollify myself with the scenery.

Despite the fantastic landscape, we decided to pack it in early and get back so that BB would have some time to work on the camper when we got home. Everyone, except me, decided to ride up front without air conditioning, they just rolled down windows. I chose to ride in the back where there was a working air conditioner. Or so I thought. It shorted out the fuse about 37 times on the way home. I was pretty crabby by the time we arrived. Did I mention the fridge flew open again too? Despite being securely fastened with a bungee cord and some duct tape. There is no stopping that fridge, it WANTS to be open. All the better to fling food and beverage products in an attempt to kill the campers.

So, anyhoodle. We stopped at Lowe’s and I sweat off approx. 5lbs of liquid because I couldn’t go in the store, because I was still wearing my pjs, because there was no water to shower with. We got home and I practically RAN to the house. By today everything is either fixed or going to be fixed. But, I am gonna put that thing through a 194 point inspection before I submit to another overnight camping trip!

But hey! Look at the bright side, now at least I can stop worrying about how we managed to get such a great deal!