My head hurts. The reason my head hurts is six years old and her name is Carsten. And the reason she makes my head hurt is because the majority of our conversations go like the one we just had.
Carsten – How old is Jenna?
(Jenna is my niece)
Me – She will be 11 on January 16th.
C – When is January?
Me – It IS January right now.
C – Oh. But WHEN IS January?
Me – IT. IS. JANUARY. RIGHT. NOW.
C – Oh……..well, what day in January?
Me – The 16th. Remember when I said her birthday was on January 16th?
C – Yes. (giggle)
C – What is today?
Me – Today is the 9th.
C – The 10th????
Me – No, the 9th.
I go into the bathroom to escape her. She knocks on the door and says….
C – Mommy? What day is today?
Me – TODAY. IS. THE. NINTH.
C – When is the 9th?
Me – Grrrrr. Today is the 9th of January.
C – When is January? On the ninth?
Me – OMG! You KNOW the months of the year and the days of the month Carsten!!! TODAY IS THE NINTH of JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!! TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C – Oh.
I wait until it is quiet, take a deep breath and exit the bathroom, hoping she has left. But, NOPE! She is STILL standing there and says……
C – Hi!
Me – Hello.
C – Soooooooooo, when is Jenna’s birthday?
Me – (deep breath) Jenna’s birthday is on the 16th.
C – Soooooooo, tomorrow is the ninth?
Me – No. Tomorrow is the 10th. Jenna’s birthday is on the 9th, I mean the 16th. GAH! This is like Who’s on first! I am SO confused!
C – What is Who’s on first? The first of what?
Me – Nevermind.
C – Sooooooooooo, Jenna is going to be 10?
Me – GAH! NO! She will be 11 on the 16th of January. Please go away now. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease.
C – Ok Mommy. We will talk about this later because you are confused now.
Oh please God. Let her forget.