14 years ago


14 years ago,

when they laid your tiny body on my chest,

I prayed for you to live.

Just breathe.

Make it one more day.

You were just hours old when I lost your brother,

The sadness,


The fear of losing you,


I realized,

how great a space in a heart

a child can occupy.

I prayed for you to be ok,

Just grow.

Come home from the hospital with me.

I made a thousand deals with God,

in your first days.

Whispering promises,

through tears.

I was never quite sure if it was enough,

to ensure you were a gift I got to keep.

You fought,

you were strong.

You grew.

I prayed that you would be happy,

Just dream.

Be smart and kind.

You are so much more.

You are the greatest gift,

I have ever been given.

I didn’t know then,

how it would all turn out.



I didn’t know how much,


you would make me laugh.

How much I would enjoy,

just spending time with you.

Just talking

and laughing.

Getting to know you.

The emotions you make me feel,

from frustration

to amazement,

I would not trade for the world.

The person you are becoming

is more than I ever dared to dream of,

when they laid your tiny body on my chest

14 years ago.



Happy Birthday Cody Jakob!




Mommy misses you Richard…. Happy Birthday to you too.







One thought on “14 years ago

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