Smart Mouth

My Un-RAK Week

Get ready to be under-impressed… with the last week I have had, I haven’t left the house much.  When the pain monster is sitting on my chest, I am kind enough to only leave the house when I HAVE to, so I don’t bite any heads off.  Isn’t that a RAK?  I think so.  I did go to the grocery store this week, and I was extra nice to the grocery store guy… even though he asked me in southern if I wanted a cart. (southern for cart is “buggy”) So, it went like this –

GSG – YEWANTA BUGGY? 

Me -Yes! Thank-you! 

Usually it goes like this –

GSG – YEWANTA BUGGY?

Me – Yes, I want a CART!  Thank you! 

YAY ME!

Also?  I did not kill the neighbor boy when he told me his mother was going to hate that I planted flowers (bulbs) for her as a surprise, because she HATES flowers.  Sparing his life is a RAK in and of itself, but I ALSO freaked out and went over to her house to APOLOGIZE for planting surprise bulbs for her (my previous RAK to her) and that should be a RAK too, because I coulda just said, WHAT? and played dumb when she asked if I did it.  AND?  It turns out that she doesn’t hate FLOWERS, she hates PLANTING flowers.  SO?  I should get a THIRD RAK for coming back home and AGAIN not killing the neighbor boy.  (who was sitting in my house.!  GAH!  Be gone you Butthead McTweeny!)

The Meeting You Have Been Waiting For!

Mack and Velcro met on Friday night, AND?  We are lucky my heart survived that little meeting.  

Here is what I thought would happen:  Little harps would play and little birds would sing, and Mack and Velcro would run towards each other (a la Bo Derek and that movie where she is on a beach running towards that guy with all those braids her hair), AND just as the sun came out from under a cloud and a rainbow lit up the sky….little rays of sunlight would hit their fur and they would meet in the air in a GIANT hug.

Here is what ACTUALLY happened:  They ran in circles, chattering and flying towards my eyeballs and my inner ear, occasionally meeting in one massive blur of sugar glider in what reminded me of one of the cartoon Tasmanian Devil. Then they would stop on opposite sides of the tent and breathe hard and stare at me like – MOM!  WTF was THAT  THING?!?!?!  Then they would repeat the whole process, over and over AND over again.  Until I was sweating and cursing and almost crying.  Because how can you break up a sugar glider brawl when your eyeballs CANNOT move even HALF as fast as THEY DO????????

Yeah.  Sooooooooo… I was a WEE bit dissappointed.  So now, I am changing out their pouches every single day.  I make Velcro sleep in Macks pouch and visa versa.  And I also put them back into the cage opposite.  I put Mack in Velcro’s side and Velcro in Mack’s side.  So, essientially I am rockin’ their world.

I guess I should just be happy they didn’t bite each other, they could have.. they bite me sometimes. (actually Velcro rarely bites me and Mack bites me A LOT)  And for all that rolling around, there was never any baring of teeth, at least that I saw.  But then again?  My eyes don’t move at the speed of light.

Maybe this is just how first meetings go?  I don’t know.  You woulda thought almost three weeks hanging on a screen two inches away from someone would make it a LITTLE less stressful to meet them.  But, then… maybe Sugar Gliders are just drama queens?  Who knows. 

I am going do the switching of the pouches/cages or what I like to call, Whose Bed Am I In? or I Know This is NOT Where I Fell Asleep Last Night!!! and then I will try letting them meet again this coming weekend.  Pray for me.  Seriously.  Pray for my poor fragile heart.

Okies!  I am off to bed Internets!  Thanks for all the well wishes and whatnot.  I am sorry to report that the disappearance of the rain was not the disappearance of my pain.  I am gonna try to call my worthless VA Dr this week… and see what he says.

Nighty night!