Smart Mouth

1). Checking in at the gym. Just…. why? I get it if you’re running a 10k, or doing something special with a friend…. but if you’re just on the frickin treadmill, please spare me.

2). Selfies of you exercising. What are you looking for here?? If I wanted to stare at sweaty people I’d go to the gym myself.

3). Invites to home parties from virtual strangers. If I haven’t seen you in 20 years, chances are I’m not showing up so you can wrap my leg in plastic and help me get rid of those stubborn inches.

4.). Vague posts. Obviously you want to talk about it. So either REALLY talk about it or DON’T try to make people guess.

5). Endless invites to play Candy Crush. You know people hide you the first time you send one of those, don’t you?

6). People that like their own posts. I’m pretty sure based on the fact that YOU posted it, people will ALREADY know that YOU LIKE IT

7). Haters. People who follow a celebrity on Facebook and post nasty comments. Chances are the actual celebrity doesn’t spend their day scrolling through 5,000 comments and IF they do, they surely don’t give a shit if Becky from Michigan thinks they’re lying about their clothing sizes or plastic surgery.

8). People who sell stuff on their personal page. Get a business page. The End.

9). People that post 3-5 posts in a row. I get it, you like inspiration sayings, you think cats are funny, you hate Monday’s, etc….. ONE.IS.ENOUGH. More than enough sometimes.

10). People who live enchanted lives. Maybe some people shit rainbows and ride glittery ponies all day, but I don’t and I’d much rather hear about the stuff that makes you an authentic person.

What did I miss?