Dear Chihuahua

Dear Chihuahua… (or Happy Hump Day!) Aug 14, ’07 11:19 PM
for Mel ‘s contacts
 Dear Chihuahua,

 

You are a wee tiny dog. I try to remind myself that wee tiny dogs have wee tiny brains. But, errrrrrrrr, tiny brain or no, something around here needs to change.

 

And it isn’t the cat litter situation, which reminds me! I appreciate you NOT sleeping in the cat litter anymore! I am sure part of the reason you quit cold turkey is because of the fact that we have remembered to confine you to your kennel each night. But, whatever, thanks anyway!

 

But now we have a new problem. It is *ahem* the issue with your overactive libido. I can understand that you might have some bottled up sexual frustration, but really? Must you hump any animal that sits still for longer than 30 seconds? Also? I am sure it is annoying to the other pets that you are humping them AT ALL, but they might get less pissed if you tried humping their rear, as opposed to their ear. But, I digress, back to the problem!

 

The humping really needs to stop. Now that you are confined away from your kitty litter mattress, you should really try to take advantage of those hours you spend behind closed doors. The humping during daylight hours needs to stop.NOW.

 

You see, your six year old human sister thinks that you are just trying really hard to jump over the Saint Bernard. Apparently she also thinks you like to jump over her A LOT.

 

School starts next week, and if she comes home and tells me that she wants to bring her Chihuahua that does jumping tricks to school for show and tell? I will have to kill you.

 

Over and out,

 

Mom

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